I gotta find a new place.

Well... Today decided whether or not I have a wonderful or an awful senior year. Unfortunetly, next year is not looking good for me. I lost the election for becoming president of our choir. I'm pretty much heart broken right now. This is the only thing that I wanted, and of course, I didn't get it. I've never felt this awful in my life. I sat for two hours crying in school including my entire Algebra class and so hard that my mother wanted to send me home from school. I'm so upset... I can't even think about anything else but that. I mean, how much more can I do? But you know what really kills me? The fact that I've been crying and everything and it's not going to change everything so there's really no point as to why I'm crying. I just feel so useless right now. I can't do anything and I can't look at anything without crying or feeling stupid.

I hate this so much. I feel so selfish. I hate having to be this way but I wanted it so much I would have given anything to be president. I just feel so totally broken down.... I don't know what to do anymore and it's the most helpless and painful thing I've ever gone through in my life. I really am in pain right now.